June 1, 2010

Doctors? Not yet…

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , at 7:48 am by copingwithdepression

Well I got up at 8 this morning ready to phone the doctors for an appointment today – the one doctor I have seen before in that practice (who was quite nice) is off work today & tomorrow…  I didn’t want to book in to see anyone else who I have never met before because I would feel even more nervous.  So I made an appointment for Thursday morning.  It’s only 2 days away, but I feel gutted, just becasue I got myself so worked about going today I think.  I am shaking so hard I can barely type this!

And OH I have just realised – I was meant to have an appointment with my counsellor on Thursday morning, so I will have to cancel / re-arrange that.  I have been having doubts about continuing with this counsellor.  It is just someone I found on the interent via BACP in my local area – I had searched through loads but this lady’s website looked really professional etc and I liked the way she said things.  But she is a person-centered counsellor which means she really just sits and listens and gives you a safe place to work out your feelings and come to conclusions.  Which is OK, but I really feel I need some input or structure to the sessions.  I saw a CBT therapist privately for a while back when I lived in N.Ireland, but I didn’t really take it seriously at the time – I didn’t put as much into the homeworks and exercises as I should have done.  But I think the CBT approach is one that I need – it really makes sense to me to change your thoughts, because I know that’s how I get myself into a spiral of depression to begin with.

So I’m really not sure what to do.  I wanted to have seen the doctor and asked her opinion so I would know for sure what to do by Thursday, but…  Plus there is the cost to it, I know it’s only every week but we aren’t bringing in a lot of money at the minute & I really don’t feel like I can afford it.  Well I am going to have to cancel the counsellor anyway on Thursday while I go to the doctor.

As for today… it’s a horrible, rainy day so I will probably listen to my Louise Hay audios while I’m working at the computer to try & relax me.  Maybe do some baking as well, I printed off a recipe for Lemon Drizzle Cake a couple of days ago but hadn’t felt like baking it.  Or chocolate chip muffins…?

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2 Comments »

  1. Princess L said,

    I would definitely recommend CBT, that’s the counselling I had and it was incredible. I think you’ve got to look at the money side as it being an investment, yes it’s expensive but if it strengthens you and makes you able to live happily then it is worth it. If it’s the choice between food or therapy then obviously food has to come first, but if there’s any spare cash if it was me I’d be putting it into getting me better.
    P.s. Chocolate chip muffins ftw!

  2. I know, I just don’t really think this counsellor is helping me a lot. I would rather use the money & start seeing a specific CBT therapist if the waiting list on the NHS is too long. I just feel so guilty though leaving her (I know I’m silly!) but I’ll feel like I’m letting her down or something. I guess it’s ME I need to think about… Did you go via the NHS or privately & how long were you seeing the CBT therapist for? Haven’t had time to do any baking had to do a big food shop! Maybe tomorrow!


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