May 31, 2010
Mars & Venus Update
Well we’ve got through the last 2 days since my “meltdown”. I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that it is up to me if I want to improve this relationship or not – there is no point in G trying & me being half-hearted about it, thinking all the time that it won’t work. This will be very hard for me, but I am determined to do it. I also know I can’t make any rash decisions while I’m in such a bad state of mind. All I can do is take each day as it comes and see how things go.
The last 2 nights we have gone to bed at the same time and read a couple of chapters of Mars & Venus In L ove. It makes a lot of sense in that it shows how we haven’t been communicating properly and have been antagonising each other. Then we are living with all the frustration and built-up resentment. For the 1st time in ages I’m beginning to see a “way out” – what things could be like between us.
I’ve also been doing a lot of listening to my Louise Hay audios – all about affirmations and how to change your thinking. Today, for eg, we were both sitting working on our computers to get the website up and running and I had listened to 2+ hours of Louise Hay and nice relaxing music. I was feeling quite calm and peaceful and then it just changed like that. G made some comment, I took it the wrong way & immediately my whole mood changed. Cue some more nasty comments on both sides & now I felt awful. It was amazing how quickly it changed. After 30 mins or so to cool down, he came to talk to me about it – I had a cry, I just felt once again like we’re never going to be able to be happy. Either I annoy him or vice-versa and it starts a whole new argument. I know it’s a generalisation but it just really got me down.
I am going to the doctors tomorrow as well. I thought I would go today but forgot it was bank holiday. So, I can feel myself getting panicky already when I think about going tomorrow. I know it’s silly, but I get so nervous whenever I’ve to go to the doctors about something like this. I just hate having to try and describe why I’m depressed to a new person. But it needs to be done. I’m not 100% keen on starting anti-depressants again, but I’ll talk to the doctor and see. If the waiting list for psychotherapy is years long I will probably be better starting some sort of medication. I’ll try and keep my mind off it tonight and hopefully will sleep OK. Will keep you updated with how I get on.
May 22, 2010
Affirmations.. yay or nay?
I have heard about affirmations for a while but never actually done anything about starting to say them! To be honest I think I would feel stupid… but now has come the time to give it a go.
I have been listening to Louise Hay Experience Your Good Now audio where she talks in detail about affirmations and how they can attract “miracles” into your life. Maybe, maybe not but it can’t hurt to try? I know I am so guilty of negative self talk and I need to start to take steps to break the pattern.
I radiate love, and love fills my life.
I can do it! I can feel good about myself.
As I change my thoughts, the world around me changes.
I give myself the gift of freedom from the past and move with joy into the now.
Has anyone else had any experiences with affirmations? I would love to hear from you!
Self Help For Depression 